Happy Anniversary

I've been ready for hours and I'm wearing my best

Ordered champagne and flowers and you're not even dressed

Tonight's a special night to remember with pride

These twenty happy years since you became my bride

It is all too absurd, you're so cross and abrupt

But I don't say a word or you're bound to erupt

Your peculiar moods I've experienced before

So I'll pour another drink and quietly pace the floor

It's a quarter to eight as we fretfully wait

For your little black dress, that was promised by six

Is it just rotten luck, when we're doing the town

That the fates should conspire, to let us mortals down

I have seats for a show and it's opening night

My shoes do not fit me and my suit is too tight

And you sit there and curse, an occasional curse

And I've got a headache that's quickly getting worse

Happy anniversary, happy anniversary

They deliver your frock, but you're still in distress

It was past nine o clock, when I helped you to dress

I tried to do you up, but, it wasn't my day

For then to fill my cup, your zipper stuck half way

I got all in a sweat, over anxious and vexed

Will I ever forget, the thing that happened next

Your dress just came apart, with one terrible tear

Your disappointed cries, were more than I could bear

At eleven at last, when we got into town

We arrived at the show, but the curtain was down

I suggested a bite. No, no you wanted to walk

You had no appetite and no desire to talk

So we strolled for an hour, and the evening was sweet

And I bought you a flower, from a man in the street

And we kissed on the sidewalk, without reason or rhyme

And we knew that our love is must stronger than time

Happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy anniversary.