Uneasy Rider 88

Me and my buddy got us a wild hair

And figured we wanted to go somewhere

So we loaded up in my ragtop chevrolet

We had a lil' bit of money and a whole lot of show

And with hank jr. Blarin on the radio

We had a tank full of gas and we was on our way

We figured we'd go down to new orleans

We were barrelling old 17

When a man with a red blinking light was on our tail

He said you were doing 60 in a 45

But i'm gonna let you go this time

But if i catch u again

I'm gonna slap you up in the county jail

We said thank your sir sure been nice

And you aint gonna have to tell us twice

And we southbound down with the wind blowin in our faces

We kept on rollin and pretty soon

The radio was cookin' out a haggard tune

And we were pullin into houston

Checkin out all them places

I was feelin dry and i said i think

We ought to stop and give ourselves a drink

And o' jim said yeah

Cuz we got time to kill

We kept on rollin and i seen this spot

So we pulled into the parking lot

Of this place called the cloud nine bar and grill

We walked through the door the place was jammed

The lights were low they had a punk rock band

And some orange-haired fella singin 'bout suicide

I said jim this ain't our kinda place

He said well let's just have one-round any ways

So against my better judgement we walked on inside

Went up to the bar and we sat down

This fellar walked up and said i'll buy this round

And he sat down on the barstoll next to jim

He looked like a girl but he talked like a guy

Had lipstick on and mascera in his eye

And everybody in that place looked just about like him

I said jim this ain't our kind of bar

Let's just go and back in get back in the car

Cuz theirs gonna be trouble

Aint no since in takin a chance

We was gettin up gettin ready to leave

In somebody grabbed o' jim by the sleeve

And this good lookin girl was askin my buddy to dance

I said jim don't do it theirs somethin missin

Theirs fellars dancin and fellars kissin

Theris a fellar in high heeled shoes wearin panty hose

He said partner i just cant turn this down

You just go over there and have one more round

And i'll dance with a lady

And we'll get on down the road

So he walked away and left me alone

But this funny lookin fellar kept comin on

And he was makin me mad in said

And then he put his hand on my knee

I said if you dont get your paw off me

I'm gonna locate your nose around

On the side of your head

He said i love it when yout that fire in your eyes

I said well partner try this on for size

And i unloaded on him and he went out like a light

Everybody in that place must've been his friend

They all headed for me i said this is the end

But where i come from we don't give up without a fight

They were screaminand yellin and scrathin and clawin

I was punchin and hittin and kickin and pawin

I was holdin my own cuz i've been in a scrap or two

O' jim comin runnin up out of the blue

And that gal he was with comin runnin up 2

And proceeded to beat on me with a high heel shoe

I grabbed her by the hair it come off in my hand

And that girl beautiful girl was just a beautiful man

And o' jim just got sick right there on the floor

He dropped that dude like as hot from a gun

Smeared his lipstick made his makeup run

And me and o'l jim started fightin our way to the door

We lit out of there in that chevrolet

Put it on the floor and it stayed that way

We were goin down the highwaydoin bout a 110

We were headed for home and we was gettin nearer

Then a red light came on the rear view mirror

And that same blame cop pulled us over again

Now i'm sittin here in this county jail

Had to call my daddy to go our bail

But i learned a lesson i never will forget agaain

I done give up drinkin i give up bars

And runnin around the country in souped up cars

I'm goin back here the women are women

And the men are men