Pockets Of Stone

It’s not until now that I realise

The injuries left hidden inside

And how scared I was that you’d be repulsed by this body of mine

That you’d cower away and you’d freak out

When all the worst parts of me leaked out

Of my nose and my mouth, every pore of my skin and my ears and my eyes

And I told you my weak breathing was just anxiety breath

Scared of the forbidden, being left alone with the worst thoughts running wild inside my head

Cast my memory back

Slowly draw in the net

Throw myself right into the current, will I float?

What a time we did have

When we weren’t thinking so hard

Well I guess it’s a comfort we’ve emptied our pockets of stones

With the flesh inside me crawling

And the lungs in my chest still heaving

I’ll try to untangle this mess that I’ve mangled and order it into a line

But sometimes plain speaking can’t do justice

To the rawness and the roughness

Of the pieces of past that have cut me apart and make me a wreck by design

And I told you my quick breathing was just anxiety breath

Scared of the silence, being left alone and everything leading to death

And now I'm alone, I'm riding home and my mind it twists and it cries

Why is it only easy, is it always easy, easier to talk in the night?

Cast my memory back

Slowly draw in the net

Throw myself right into the current, will I float?

What a time we did have

When we weren’t thinking so hard

Well I guess it’s a comfort we’ve emptied our pockets of stones

I am constantly pushing aside the debris

I am constantly losing sight of my feet

I am trying to see where I should go

But the words in my head are stuck in my throat

Cast my memory back

Slowly draw in the net

Throw myself right into the current, will I float?

What a time we did have

When we weren’t thinking so hard

Well I guess it’s a comfort we’ve emptied our pockets of stones