Snooker Loopy

Snooker loopy nuts are we

Me and him and them and me

We'll show you what we can do

With a load of balls and a snooker cue

Pot the reds then, skrew back

For the yellow green brown blue pink and black

Snooker loopy nuts are we

We're all snooker loopy

Now ol' Milo as we all know's

Got loadsa dappa suits

London bred and he keeps his head

'Though he's got Italian roots

Emotional but he keeps his cool

'Til he reaches the finals

And whether he wins or whether he don't

'I always bite me eyeballs'

Now our friend Den, hours he spent

Down the snooker hall

On the old green baize his mates seem amazed

At skills with a snooker ball

And them long shots, he never ever got

Why? The old mind boggles

But nowadays he pots the lot

'Cos I wear these goggles'

Snooker loopy nuts are we

Me and him and them and me

We'll show you what we can do

With a load of balls and a snooker cue

Pot the reds then, skrew back

For the yellow green brown blue pink and black

Snooker loopy nuts are we

We're all snooker loopy

Now Terry the taff was born in a gaff

In the valleys of the land of song

And as the reds he puts to bed

He likes to sing along

And if I win he says with a grin

It can only help me can't it

I'll celebrate, I'll buy another eight

'Hairbrushes for me barnet'

Now old Willy Thorne his hair's all gone

And his mates all take the rise

His opponent said cover up his head

Cos it's shining in my eyes

When the light shines down on his bare crown

It's a cert he's gonna walk it

It's just not fair giving off that glare

'Perhaps I ought to chalk it'

Snooker loopy nuts are we

Me and him and them and me

We'll show you what we can do

With a load of balls and a snooker cue

Pot the reds then, skrew back

For the yellow green brown blue pink and black

Snooker loopy nuts are we

We're all snooker loopy

Now Steve last year come very near

To winning the snooker crown

But he never got to put it on his ginger nut

Cos the black ball wouldn't go down

His manager of all said 'Sod that ball'

But it helped him make his mind up

Now he don't care who wins this year

'Cos he's got the rest of us signed up'

Snooker loopy nuts are we

Me and him and them and me

We'll show you what we can do

With a load of balls and a snooker cue

Pot the reds then, skrew back

For the yellow green brown blue pink and black

Snooker loopy nuts are we

We're all snooker loopy

Snooker loopy nuts are we

Me and him and them and me

We'll show you what we can do

With a load of balls and a snooker cue

Pot the reds then, skrew back

For the yellow green brown blue pink and black

Snooker loopy nuts are we

We're all snooker loopy

Snooker loopy nuts are we

We're all snooker loopy

Snooker loopy nuts are we.....

We're all snooker loopy