Christmas Infiltration (feat. Danny Pudi)

What if you were a Jehovah's Witness

That was merely pretending to be into Christmas

Gathering clues and blending in

To take down the holidays from within

You mean like a spy, investigating?

Making it seem like I'm celebrating?

When actually I'm infiltrating Santa's operation (Yoip!)

Going deep cover past enemy lines

Making everybody think I'm on the Christmas side

Rockin' warm sweaters, hangin' big ass lights

If the fat man could see me yo it's gotta look right

I'll watch all the TV specials that I never could

I'll even cry during the sad ones like James Bond would

And when the big night comes, it's time to set the bait

Cold milk, hot cookies, decking the plate!

And hear him down the chimney

And then it'll be just him and me

But he won't know we're enemies

Cause I'll play sincere

Bring a trap, like that

Hug him tight, get on his lap

And tell him he can come back every year

Cause I am Jehovah's most secret witness

So I might have to dedicate my life to Christmas

And act just like I love it 'til the day I die

A-B-E-D

Connoisseur of Christmas

On the spectrum? None of your business

Thoughts too fast to comprehend

Just wanna do right, by my friend

If years were seasons, this December

Would be the December of our December

More blueprints than Howard Hughes

But if there are blueprints, how do we choose?

We have to be happy to get to the end

We have to save Christmas to save our friends

We have to save Christmas to save our friends

We have to save Christmas to save our friends!