Billy Joe McGuffrey

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the first day of first grade, I'll tell you what he did

He tripped over a pencil box, flew up in the air

Landed on a kangaroo who pulled out all his hair

First aid in the first grade

First aid in the first grade

First aid in the first grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the second day of second grade, I'll tell you what he did

He slipped on a banana peel, flew up in the sky

Landed on a chimpanzee who poked him in the eye

First aid in the second grade

First aid in the second grade

First aid in the second grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the third day of third grade, I'll tell you what he did

He fell out of a fishing boat, splashed into the sea

Landed on a moray eel who bit him on the knee

First aid in the third grade

First aid in the third grade

First aid in the third grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the fourth day of fourth grade, I'll tell you what he did

He went out on a tadpole hunt, slipped into the creek

Landed on a large-mouth bass who bit him on the cheek

First aid in the fourth grade

First aid in the fourth grade

First aid in the fourth grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the fifth day of fifth grade, I'll tell you what he did

He went into the garden shop looking for a rose

Sniffed a baby's breath and got a bee caught up his nose

First aid in the fifth grade

First aid in the fifth grade

First aid in the fifth grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the sixth day of sixth grade, I'll tell you what he did

He went out on a field trip, the first one of the year

Backed into a sabertooth and pierced both of his ears

First aid in the sixth grade

First aid in the sixth grade

First aid in the sixth grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the seventh day of seventh grade, I'll tell you what he did

He tried out for the talent show to show how well he sung

Cracked a grin, a wasp flew in, and stung him on the tongue

First aid in the seventh grade

First aid in the seventh grade

First aid in the seventh grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the eighth day of eighth grade, I'll tell you what he did

He tried to play some basketball went up for a dunk

Landed in the bushes and got squirted by a skunk

First aid in the eighth grade

First aid in the eighth grade

First aid in the eighth grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the ninth day of ninth grade, I'll tell you what he did

He fed the pigs on grandma's farm, two piglets and a sow

Slipped on their slop and then got stepped on by a cow

First aid in the ninth grade

First aid in the ninth grade

First aid in the ninth grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the tenth day of tenth grade, I'll tell you what he did

He went out on some water skis and hit a sunken log

Wiped out all the lily pads, got spit on by a frog

First aid in the tenth grade

First aid in the tenth grade

First aid in the tenth grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the eleventh day of eleventh grade, I'll tell you what he did

He swept and missed an alley cat while taking driver's ed

Ran into a tree and bumped the dashboard with his head

First aid in the eleventh grade

First aid in the eleventh grade

First aid in the eleventh grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now... Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the twelfth day of twelfth grade, I'll tell you what he did

He walked into financial aid, fell and broke a bone

Showed them all his bills and got a great big college loan

First aid in the twelfth grade

First aid in the twelfth grade

First aid in the twelfth grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid!