Ain't No Rest For The Triggered

Well I shared a thought online

It was an innocuous tweet

I didn't really think much of it at the time

But then a couple of days later

I was fired from my job

And the reason left me well beyond surprised

Someone had taken what I said

Wrote a ridiculous op-ed

And spread it all over the goddamn internet

I came in contact with the author

And I asked her: Hey, what gives?

She messaged me and this is what she said

Oh, there ain't no rest for the tiggered

We're easily displeased

We've got hair to dye

We've got tears to cry

Please gimme your sympathy

No I won't let loose, I get my news

From places like Salon

No there ain't no rest for the triggered

Donate to my Patreon

Not even fifteen minutes later

I had come across a crowd

It was a protest over something someone said

They called for the resignation

Of a man who seemed quite patient

In explaining what it was he really meant

Apparently the crowd was mad

That he didn't wanna ban

Halloween costumes that might have offended some

When I tried to intervene

A lady lunged out right at me

She summoned some muscle, and then began to hum

So now a couple hours passed

I'm walking up to my front door

But from my peripheral vision I could see

That a man had dropped his keys

And like a gymnast on trapeze

I caught them in mid-air and said: Sir, you dropped these

He turned around in pure disgust

He said: I'm not even a man

I'm a bigendered girl with manly tendencies

I said: Okay, Sir, whatever

And he called up the police

Now I'm serving six to ten cuz I dared to disagree