I Was Born 100.000 Years Ago

I was born a hundred thousand years ago

And there's nothin' in this world I do not know

Why the flag started flying

When George Washington stopped lying

I can lick the man who says that isn't so

I saw Eve and Adam driven from the door

I'm the man who picked the fig leaf that they wore

When the apple they were eating

I was from the bushes peeping

I can prove that I'm the man that ate the core

Queen Elizabeth, she fell in love with me, poor girl

We were married in Milwaukee secretly

Then I snuck around and shook her

'Cause I went with General Hooker

Just to fight mosquitoes down in Tennessee

I saw Noah when he built his famous ark

I slipped into it one night when it was dark

I saw Jonah swallow the whale

And I pulled the lion's tale

Then I crossed the land of Canaan on a lark

I taught Solomon his little ABC's

And I helped Brigham Young invent Limburger cheese

Well I sailed out on the bay

With Methuselah one day

And I saved his flowing whiskers from the breeze