Harmless Criminal

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly

I don't know why she wanted to die

So do I

Slowly rocking the cradle to please the young man

Clutching a razor tied to her hand

Is she mad or sad

A gilded picture of some holy child

Rosary beads and a distorted smile in her eyes

It was in her eyes

Welcome young man you have just become a drone

Can you hear the sweet sound

Just a lone distant melody

Welcome my son you have found yourself a home

On the threshing floor

How can you get away

And enter the realms of the living

A silhouette's black magazines

Shadows that steal what was given

You'd better watch out when the night comes to stay

But you can play with teddy bear

All the nursery rhymes you are given

Of plagues that kill

And wolves that hunt the night

We are black magicians

Our wands are filled with light

We blind your eyes with coochy-coo

And abandon you at night

So dream as you sleep

Learn to fly over fields

In the sky something waits

And the clouds are his eyes

Drink from the pool

Where the water is clear

Let it shine through your eyes as it guides you

Drink from the pool

Where the water is clear

Let it shine through your eyes as it guides you

So slowly

Mary had a little lamb

She shared the spider's home

And every where that Mary went

She fell into some horrid man's hole

Got lost in his complex caverns

Of icicles and water snakes

Call home

A hundred tin soldiers

Napoleon's army

His regimental Crimean smarties

There's a colour for everyone

And a brand new colourful assortment of battle hymns

Of Deacon Brodie and the Brothers Grimm

Come little warriors stamp your feet

Is the game too hard to play

Watch the girls go by

You wink your eye

And the whore in the corner plays chess

She might move you

You're off like the wind

And dressed in your finest clothes

There's a grasshopper in your hair

I don't care, we'll see about you

You've fallen from heaven

With nice shiny shoes

And as your spiralling out of view

Oh no mama what can you do

That grasshoppers close on your heels

With peaches and cream and a trip to the zoo

But when you sleep it won't be deep

Harmless criminal

You will find that you like it in time

Harmless criminal

Ah but you move like a storm

On a bicycle made for two

Is this not heaven that you've come to

Look out there's a bomb in the bath

Look now son you've got mud on your shoes

And as the band begins to play

I see the cello has ran away

He fell over when he bumped into you

With peaches and cream and a trip to the zoo

But when you sleep it won't be deep

Harmless criminal

You will find that you like it in time

Harmless criminal