Crumpledbigskin

I want to create

To Maybe find those who relate

But my struggles feel inadequate

And all I make just simulates

What I can’t explain

And It feels like I feign

These difficulties, opportunistically

To capitalise off my pain

To make art from something difficult

I know it can be healing

But how much do I rely

On self-destructive feelings

Will I better myself if the fuel for the fire

Is demoralising patterns

Is it really constructive

To wait for the next bad thing to happen

Is it inspiration

Is it a way of confronting?

Am I stagnating?

Or am I overcoming?

I feel like sharing this

Is so unbecoming

And though I want to vent

And pay the rent

Perhaps it’s better to do nothing

How much do I undermine

My own and others trauma

When I quickly repurpose it

As sellable melodrama?

Sometimes I doubt my self so much

Are my Tragedies authentic

Or just a creative writing tool

For me to make a buck quick?

Well If someone I love dies

Will I find I start to write

An entire concept album

About how they’re no longer alive?

And will it really be needed

To profit from the process?

Does it come from a need to make art to survive

Or just dramatic excess?

If there’s a fire

And I think I'm gonna die

The more I repeat it

The more it feels like a lie

Well it’s not that bad

Well at least at least at least

At least I didn’t die

So this song could be released

To make art from something difficult

I know it can be healing

But how much do I rely

On self-destructive feelings

Will I better myself if the fuel for the fire

Is demoralising patterns

Is it really constructive

To wait for the next bad thing to happen

How much do I undermine

My own and others trauma

When I quickly repurpose it

As sellable melodrama?

Sometimes I doubt my self so much

Are my Tragedies authentic

Or just a creative writing tool

For me to make a buck quick?