Privately Owned Spiral Galaxy

Thought cycle gusty a mind filled with hot air

Must I care for nothing more than myself? Do I dare?

Admit the fraught thoughts cavorting? Resorting in inner-directed mourning

For the part of me that was selfless but left without a warning

Well that’s what I said, but maybe it’s the fact that I detest

This obsession with myself that leaves a mess inside my head

Oh shit I’m doing it again, repelling any potential friend

Revealing my innate ability to never fully comprehend

Anything bigger than myself, but in the end I still pretend

Condescending anyone polite enough to choose to misspend their time

Watching me as I achieve my secret social mission

To drain people with my boring stories and opinions

To see the bigger picture takes intelligence and wisdom

But I won’t see nothing more with just myself in my vision

I go outside a blitz of faces unwilling to confess to any empathy

Endlessly incessantly declining any pleasantries

Heavily breathing, socially teething, I’m open like a vivisection

Intense tendency to dwell, seething over missed connections

Infected by my perceptions that I’m a non-entity

Project my insecurity until intensity is weaponry

Grieving a heavenly fiction I perceived whilst I was dreaming

Awake! Freezing, wheezing, fundamentally I’m still believing that

This is an elegy for concepts I conceived in deep sleep

As I helplessly watch them fade whilst I awake, I try and keep them alive

Incomparable with life but eventually they die

And the brain I used to cultivate reveals my lovers were a lie

When inside my mind I find a way to replicate reality

Through lucid dreaming I decimate the limitations of actuality

Capacity practically eternal, mortality external

No God but I investigate the blasphemous worship of the nocturnal

Internally existing without morality creates profanities without the travesty

And compared to the apathy of realness I reveal my own insanity

The majesty of fantasy protects me from tragedy

Normalities effects traject the agony of rationality

Which thankfully penetrates with no avail to my unreality

An elaborately designed privately owned spiral galaxy

Financially I’m failing, naturally decaying

Soon I’ll have no safe place to sleep if these bills still need paying

Displaying cravings with open eyes for something mind expanding

For when I drift away I see the totality of understanding