Reality, Pt. 4

Times changed was dealing with so much pain

But at the same time it's alot that I overcame

Went from hungry last year now dressing in cashmeres

It's just a bag I won't brag cause I struggled the past years

I had a empty fridge would eat me a stale bagel

Thanksgiving Day with only me at the table

No friends or family, demons surrounding me

Sometimes I had thoughts of jumping off the balcony

But um, I kept chewing on Doublemint bubblegum

Leftovers in my stomach more like pieces of crumbs

Around the wrong crowd they telling me: Hit the blunt

My father don't want me like we don't want Donald Trump

I was tryna keep it cool for my mammy

Them long lines standing in that food pantry

Wasn't a joke, losing my hope

Got bags under my eyes looking like a wrinkled tote

It was no sleep at all pissed in the bushes ,no stalls

Found a home then we was gone then more leaves than fall

On my mama this shit was trauma

Ain't have a solid number so how could we see a comma?

While I was sleep it was rats running over my mom feet

Just so she could work to get us something to eat

Lets get deep, I'm hurting as I speak

When life paid you dust just get a broom and sweep

At 11 who you telling everything was hand me downs

Jumped and stomped by 20 people while others stand around

Nobody helped, everyday I felt invisible

School so grimy the principal don't even got principles

Once I turned 12 it was all hell

Roaming the streets looking for D when I couldn't even spell

Fighting demons with a poker face like everything swell

Let's fast forward let me show you how my life has failed

Remember them nights with no lights or gas?

Washing up at the sink tryna clean my ass with cold water

My entire body was freezing best believe it

Jesus put me here for a reason

15, fucking on a man that's 35 good in the beginning

Then ate my soul alive fooled myself thinking its love

The way he layed with me

But all we ever did was fuck and went to KFC

It's sad, I degraded myself hated myself

All this because I wasn't raised with a belt

I know mama I hurt you staying out pass curfew

You deserve to sit back but I overworked you

Remember when my music got 11 plays?

Mama we here now these the better days

So I'll be damned if I let a nigga take it away

They body dropping in a instant like they break & escape

Never going back to them old days of seeing them low plays

So I entertain these niggas like I'm giving them roleplay

The greatest things comes to the ones that waited gotta be patient

It's about organization all my albums got my wallet on Fat Albert

I donate to the shelters money, toys, and flowers

We was in it more than hours the feeling was sour

300 people in one household using the same shower

People got some fucking nerve to be mad that they rent due

When people out here on the curb with covers and ripped shoes

The homeless be the ones with good hearts I feel bad

Cause they put everyone first by giving away they last

Think about it!