Horsey

horses are riding into her arms

she lost her own way years ago

her sister calls her from the far side of night

and she falls with that call

it's the only way out

she tells me i love you

but it's only a game

so she slides through the silence

she's fixing her time

to fall back into darkness

again with a smile

don't touch me i'm falling

she laughs in the night

don't touch me i shall return

when the wheel comes around

you see we're all born to suffer

we're all born to fall

in a grey-shaded world

that calls us to zero

her mother's mouth slits

her father lies taken

she touches my body

but i crouch up to die

down the ramblas we're walking

in Reykjavik we're talking

the snow is moon-cold

the roof freezes over

she's reading a book

she finished it years ago

she's tearing up paper

she's tearing up life

but she only starts thinking

when her blood is brown

gold is the colour she promised me she'd wear

but Christ's blood turns black

his body she bears

when she dips him in waters

confession of faith

it's hard to believe you

when you spit in my face

and i don't want to touch you

i don't want to lie

in the brown red gold slumber

that you've taken to ride

i remember i was thinking

only of you

but you shattered me nightly

you broke all your oath

i found myself falling

and there

and there

and then

through the ruins of this parched life

and the pain of the next one

i said fucking over

all of this is shit

but still the wind calls

imperium

when you rage at the conqueror you only rage at yourself

when you torture the anointed you torture yourself

and you've listened to Piaf but not to the Christ

so you sparkle for seconds then dissolve into mist

the fog closes in and you think about Crowley

you think it's a game

but the game is just you

when shall you stop hiding in the heart of your night

when the cold trapway beckons

when the cold trapway stops

and Christ i was thinking of your bended arm

it's blue on the inside

it's blue on the outside

you said and then buckled as if you might die

there's no point in living

there's no point in life

and sometimes i hear you at the back of my mind

and a golden door opens but no light appears

there's spit on the bridle and there's blood on the saddle

and you slip in the shit you've shat in yourself

and Christus is Equus and Equus is Lord

and his name flies with fury and the wind cuts through you

you following footsteps that shed by a flower

then i wanted to hold you but you're destined to fall