Four Wheel Drive

We is screamin' through the valley

Where the Nishnabotna flows

Through the mud and crud and cornfields

Where the mari-ju-wana grows

'Cross the railroad tracks of Persia

Down the hills and up the dale

Had a CJ-5 with a four-wheel drive

And Smokey on my tail.

Well, he picked me up at exit 12

On the I-six-eighty ramp

I was doin' 67 per

When I rumbled through his trap

He commenced to whirl his flashin' lights

And he made his siren wail

I slipped on down to four-wheel drive

With Smokey on my tail

Now I got racin' stripes and dual pipes

And Smokey's got a Ford

Got a mill with a four pot carb, you know

But Smokey's stroked and bored

Well, the chase was on, but I had the edge

With a rig that'll never fail

Got a CJ-5 with a four-wheel drive

And Smokey on my tail

Yeah, he was.

Well, I dropped on down to granny low

And I made a hard right turn

My big ol' fat Commando tires

Went slashin' through the corn

Well, the tassels blew

And the kernels flew

And it looked like yella hail

Just cookin' alive in a four-wheel drive

With Smokey on my tail

Well, we went screamin' through the valley

Where the Nishnabotna flows

Through the mud and crud and cornfields

Where the mari-ju-wana grows

'Cross the railroad tracks of Persia

Up the hills and down the dales

My CJ-5 with four-wheel drive

And Smokey on my tail.

[Imagine a series of comic-style thought balloons.]

Look out, now. Here he come.

Oh, we gonna get it on now.

(Don't hit that fella with the banjo.)

We gonna swim this here creek now, Smokey. [Pronounced "crick", of course.]

Yard wide and a foot deep.

"Nishnabota River", they call it.

Might haveta winch out.

Gonna do a wheelie on that there gopher mound now, Smokey.

Can you dig it, Smokey?

Got four on the floor and four in the air on that one, didn't we?

Goodness gracious. 'Bout ta bust my shocks.

[Back to our regularly-scheduled rhyming. Add the sound of wailing sirens.]

Well, that Jeep of mine made Smokey whine

His rig was made of lead

He was mired in fourteen feet of mud

So he radioed ahead

I pulled up onto the blacktop

Went crashin' on through the rail

Sakes alive! I had twenty-five more

Smokeys on my tail!

Now I had racin' stripes and dual pipes

And Smokey had a Ford

Had a mill with a four pot carb, you know

But Smokey's stroked and bored

Well, the race was on, but I had the edge

With a rig that'll never fail

Got a CJ-5 with a four-wheel drive

Settin' out back a' the jail