You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly

You're the reason I'm ridin' 'round on recapped tyres

An' you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on walls

An' you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling

Ah, but looks ain't everything

And money ain't everything

But, I love you just the same

You're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop

An' you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop

You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling

Oh, but looks ain't everything

And money ain't everything

But, I love you just the same

I guess that we won't ever have, everything we need

'Cause when we get ahead, it's got another mouth to feed

And that's the reason my good looks and my figure's gone

And that's the reason I ain't got no hair to comb

An' you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling

Ah but looks ain't everything

And money ain't everything

But, I love you just the same

Conway, why in the devil don't you gon'

And shave an' put on a clean pair of pants?

Loretta, look at yourself

I wish you'd take them curlers out of your hair

An' go put on a little bit of make up

An' get out of the housecoat before supper

Ha well let me tell you somethin', Conway

Considerin' everything I went through today

I look like a movie star

Yeah, Ruth Cassidy

Thank you

Besides that

All of our kids took after your part of our family anyway

Oh they did, huh? What about the one's that's bald?

Well, I guess you might say they took after me