If

If kanye, strutted on stage

Suited like chaplain, in a plague mask

You'd applaud artsome; the louis vuitton don

So beyond his grandfather clock, so avant garde huh?

If ivory grand, dropped a jam

About the clothes in his laundry hamper

And shot a video in a laundromat he'd

Have teen girls tossin they dirty spandex at him

If snoop dogg spit 'west coast' verbatim

Every top 40 radio station would play it

And every socialite on california sands

Would start dancin to the schwartzman sample

If jay-z sampled a daniel johnston tune

You'd download daniel's catalogue of music

Don't, try to deny it, it's probably true

Cause whatever jigga say you gon' follow, dude

If akon sang on 'brian wilson'

I would've got the whole world to listen

Co-sign will change your whole life, so absurd

I would have won the fuckin juno i deserved

... oops~! if asher roth, slapped his palms

Against the caps of his knees and rapped for free

Wait, on second thought, it would change nothin

The same shit different country, fuck it

If gucci mane wore a took and glasses

And paid more attention to his music than fashion

Kids would dress for winter

And rock rims with prescription lens in them

If!! eminem dropped mathers, and went 'jonestown'

The concept would blow

And send fans racin to newspaper stands

To see his rolling stone cover with the kool-aid man

If rick ross, released 'ken park'

Puffy would put up the ducats and pay harmony corinne

To direct a, video with hobos on heroin

Midgets on a merry-go-round, bet you would air it then

If 50 cent wrote 'boom baba boom'

The second verse would be on every blog dispute

An emcee shit talkin big and 'pac? no way

Yet every rapper thinks they clever when they shit on cobain

If lil wayne, 'let the children die'

Over a million children alive would line up

At midnight with signs at best buy to buy

The record pitchfork rated a 9 - right?!

If jay electronica, jay elec-kan-ica

Wrote 'nobody with a notepad'

You'd go mental over every reference, from bon jovi to r. crumb

From hussein folk to john lennon

If t.i. quoted hunter s. thompson's suicide note

Both you and i know

Spin would praise the brillaince of cliff harris

But nobody gives a shit when derek from canada

Does all of the above, at a quality above

Not all of the above, but all of the above

But four give or take, dependin on production

While y'all tend to rate, dependin on the country

An emcee resides in, and if i resided in the states

I'd be signed and paid

We all can't be co-signed by jay, wayne or dre

To wayne brady choke suffocate the game

I wish i could change somethin to be just like them

To make the whole world love me, just like them

But, if i change, i'll be just like them

And i would no longer be...