Another Irish Drinking Song

Gather 'round, ye lads and lasses, set ye for a while

And harken to me mournful tale about the Emerald Isle

Let's all raise our glasses high to friends and family gone

And lift our voices in another Irish drinking song

Consumption took me mother and me father got the pox

Me brother drank the whiskey 'til he wound up in a box

Me other brother in the Troubles met with his demise

Me sister has forever closed her smiling Irish eyes

CHORUS

Now everybody's died

So until our tears are dried

We'll drink and drink and drink and drink

And then we'll drink some more

We'll dance and sing and fight

Until the early morning light

Then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up and then go drinking once again

Kenny was killed in Kilkenny and Claire, she died in Clare

Tip from Tipperary died out in the Derry air

Shannon jumped into the River Shannon back in June

Ernie fell into the Erne, and Tom is in the Toome

"Cleanliness is godliness," me Uncle Pat would sing

He broke his neck a'slippin' on a bar of Irish Spring

O'Grady, he was 80, though his bride was just a pup

He died upon the honeymoon when she got his Irish up

CHORUS

Joe Murphy fought with Reilly near the cliffs of old Doneen

He took out his shillelagh and he stabbed him in the spleen

Crazy Uncle Mike believed he was a leprechaun

In fact he's just a leper, and his arms and legs are gone

When Timmy Johnson broke his neck, it was a cryin' shame

He wasn't really Irish, but he went to Notre Dame

McNamara crossed the street and by a bus was hit

But he was just a Scotsman, so nobody gave a shit

CHORUS

Me drunken Uncle Brendan tried to drive home from the bar

The road rose up to meet him when he fell out of his car

Irony was what befell me Great Grand-Uncle Sam

He choked upon the very last potato in the land

Conor lived in Ulster town, he used to smuggle arms

Until the British killed him and cut off his lucky charms

And dear old Father Flanagan, who left the Lord's employ

Drunk on sacramental wine, beneath the altar boy

CHORUS

Someday soon I'll leave this world of pain and toil and sin

The Lord will take me by the hand to join all of me kin

Me only wish is, when the Savior comes for me and you

He kills the cast of Riverdance and Michael Flatley too

CHORUS