I've No Alibi

I've no alibi, I'm so bad I cry

I've no alibi, laugh until I cry

I talk shite, shite, shite, and they buy, buy, buy, buy it

I talk shite, shite, shite, and they buy, buy, buy, buy it

I wish I was cute and I looked the part

Gold chain round my neck and on each arm a tart

I wish I was cool with the hip crowd in

I could take all my lyrics and throw them in the bin

I'd have a six pack stomach like your man Andre

Drive round in my jeep and at nightime 'Parte'

I'd write throwaway lyrics, with no meaning at all

And I'd work on my appearance for the MTV ball

Care more about how I looked and how I came across

Than the drivel I was writing, for words I'm at a loss

I could put out what I liked, just as long as it had a beat

And the masses would love it, they would mob me on the street

Pour some serious money into the video

Have some fly girls shaking their asses don't you know

I could dress up like a gangster rapper and pretend I'm from the street

Even if I was a rich white idiot

Everyone would love me, they'd have no feckin choice

Coz I'd be pushed right down their throat

Not once, not twice but thrice

In the papers, up on billboards, in the news and on your screens

I'd be haunting you, you'd probably even see me in your dreams

And the media monster, I'd be riding on its back

I'd be hunting poor unfortunates, with my truncheon eardrums crack

Get an overall tan, sign my autograph for a quid

And I'd put across a message that would say this to a kid

I'm so trendy, I'm so talented, I'm so handsome. I'm so cool

Buy my tape and praise me, I'm a god you fool

You're not trendy, you're not talented, you're not handsome, you're not hip

I'll be all these things for you and my lyrics will equip

Equip you for Eh? Eh? Mmm ?

Oh yeah, CDs, posters, T-shirts, all my ice cool merchandise

So go now, quickly as you can, to your nearest retail outlet

And don't be shy my friend, spend, spend, spend, spend, spend

Spend, spend, spend, spend, spend, and remember that

I LOVE YOU.