Lou Gehrig's Disease

First it was Pluto, the furthest, coldest planet

They said it’s not a planet after all

Then suddenly a dollar wasn’t worth a dollar

And banks too big to fail began to fall

All of this and more, I could accept—that’s how things go

But now I’m down here begging, on my knees

‘Cause now they’re trying to tell us

Lou Gehrig didn’t die

Of Lou Gehrig’s Disease

You all remember Lou, they Yankee slugger who

Along with Babe Ruth made the Bronx bombers go

Ruth he batted third, Gehrig batted fourth

A little thing called Murderer’s Row

Change history, make it new, Lindbergh sailed the ocean blue

But don’t tear down my idols please

Don’t say Lou Gehrig didn’t die

Never be another Gehrig

Never be another Ruth

All the modern sluggers

Got there on the juice

Ripken broke the Iron Horse’s streak

But Ripken didn’t have his own disease….

Whose disease is it, whose disease was it

If you didn’t catch it, if you did not contract it

Jim Bob Jorgensen’s Disease?

Flora Richardson’s Disease

Chan-Ho’s Disease?

Muhammad Braznakar’s Disease

Whose Disease Was It?

Next they’ll be sayin Grant isn’t buried

In Grant’s tomb—nope—guy named Pettit

The White House isn’t white, Red Square isn’t red

And the Alamo—forget it

Mondale, he beat Reagan, Nixon, he beat Kennedy

And Lassie—well Lassie had fleas

If Lou Gehrig didn’t die

Of Lou Gehrig’s Disease