Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Dane Cook
Canonical path: /dane-cook/fireman-amp-policeman-and-mini-putt-security-guard
Related lyric paths: 6
Video embedded: yes
Lyric guide
Fireman & Policeman and Mini Putt Security Guard
Read Fireman & Policeman and Mini Putt Security Guard lyrics by Dane Cook on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
person
Curated by Ethan Walker
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Lyrics
Fireman & Policeman and Mini Putt Security Guard
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When I was a little kid I thought I wanted to be a fireman.
I think a lot of guys- Did you wanna be a fireman when
you were a little kid? People ask you..What do you want to be?
I wanna be a FIREMAN! I didn't really wanna be a fireman.
I thought I did. I just really wanted to spray shit with a hose.
That's what I really wanted to do. I wanted to be like a spray-man.
No I was fucking good. I'm not laughing. I was really good with the hose.
I could make it look like if make it feel like it was raining.
If you closed your eyes, you would think it was raining.
That's how good I was. You'd be like Oh my god it is really raining.
It's very cold rain. That's how good I was and I'm not laughing.
You're laughing, i'm not laughing. I could not be a fire-
If I go to a house and it was fully on fire. Fuck that! I quit.
I would just stand outside and watch it burn with everybody else.
And the woman next to me be like... Please my son,
he's screaming in there. I'd be like Well he's probably on fire!
That's what happens when you're on fire lady...
What are you doing out here? You fucking think for yourselfer.
Why didn't you make a map for him or something?
A policeman. I don't know how they do that job man.
What about those cops in New York. I just saw this on CNN a few days ago.
In New York, these cops freaked out, they shot this guy like 15 times
because they said they thought he had a grenade.
He was eating a pear! How do you fuck that up?!
Unless he was eating it like OOOOO (takes bite, throws pear)
THAT'S A DELICIOUS PEAR!
I had one uh job that was kinda cop-like.
One summer I did uh security at a miniature golf course.
Just standing out in the sun all day...
Hey hey excuse me Sir get your putter out of the whale's ass!
Come one this is a place of miniature business.
This is not a playground, even though it looks like a playground.
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Who performs "Fireman & Policeman and Mini Putt Security Guard"?
Dane Cook performs "Fireman & Policeman and Mini Putt Security Guard", and this lyric page sits inside the Dane Cook catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Fireman & Policeman and Mini Putt Security Guard"?
Yes. The related section below points to Parking Structure and Five Sisters with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Dane Cook?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Dane Cook's lyric pages.
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