Kinky Sex (Makes The World Go Around)

Greetings: This is the Secretary of War at the State Department

Of the United States

We have a problem

The companies want something done about this sluggish

World economic situation

Profits have been running a little thin lately

And we need to stimulate some growth

Now we know

There's an alarmingly high number of young people roaming

Around in your country with nothing to do but stir up trouble

For the police and damage private property

It doesn't look like they'll ever get a job

It's about time we did something constructive with these people

We've got thousands of 'em here too. They're crawling all over

The companies think it's time we all sit down, have a serious get-together-

And start another war

The President?

He loves the idea! All those missiles streaming overhead to and fro

Napalm

People running down the road, skin on fire

The Soviets seem up for it

The Kremlin's been itching for the real thing for years

Hell, Afghanistan's no fun

So whadya say?

We don't even have to win this war

We just want to cut down on some of this excess population

Now look. Just start up a draft; draft as many of those people as you can

We'll call up every last youngster we can get our hands on

Hand 'em some speed, give 'em an hour or two to learn how to use

An automatic rifle and send 'em on their way

Libya? El Salvador? How 'bout Northern Ireland?

Or a "moderately repressive regime" in South America?

We'll just cook up a good Soviet threat story

In the Middle East-we need that oil

We had Libya all ready to go and Colonel Khadafy's hit squad

Didn't even show up. I tell ya

That man is unreliable

The Kremlin had their fingers on the button just like we did for that one

Now just think for a minute-We can make this war so big-so BIG

The more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosper

We can get rid of practically everybody on your dole queue if we plan this right

Take every loafer on welfare right off our computer rolls

Now don't worry about demonstrations-just pump up your drug supply

So many people have hooked themselves on heroin

And amphetamines since we took over, it's just like Vietnam

We had everybody so busy with LSD they never got too strong

Kept the war functioning just fine

It's easy

We've got our college kids so interested in beer

They don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again

Put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard

They wouldn't even know what it looked like

So how 'bout it? Look-War is money

The arms manufacturers tell me unless

We get our bomb factories up to full production

The whole economy is going to collapse

The Soviets are in the same boat

We all agree the time has come for the big one, so whadya say?!?

That's excellent. We knew you'd agree

The companies will be very pleased