This Time Again

so here we go again

got more experience

no more excuses now

and no more bitterness

we said we’d be just friends

the cycle never ends

we terminated this

with due dilligence

I should feel better now

but still I don’t somehow

the knife is twisting still

the cuts that make me ill

my head’s a fucking mess

but this damn this loneliness

it makes me feel just like

when the world still held some interest

I am a nexus

I live to fall

I am gaping hole of violence

that lives inside us all

I am the DJ

and I am the drink

I am the thing that pushes

you over the brink

remember when you said

we were so innocent

remember when you hurt

and weren’t so violent

and we shared everything

and life was beautiful

and I was happy then

until you fucked it all

I know I asked this

I know I don’t deserve

a moment’s happiness

to love without reserve

and I have learnt the lesson

and I am better now

I will behave, I will abstain

so you can breathe somehow

as if I will, yeah fuck

go try for better luck

I am the demon

will not stop until we all fall down

You kept them all away

but now they’re here again

a million knives of insecurity

are my best friends