Lull

I spent all night

Redrafting thoughts I'd crafted out of love

And hate and spite

And selfishness, of all my darkest fetishes

Of all my least abhorrent, boring

Observations, constellations

In the sky at night

Made out off fleeting words and notes

That are ten million miles away

Dying as we watch them glow

Dying, as we watch we know

There's little we can do

But sit and watch them turn the screw

And hope some of our lives are true

All my moods are bottled

And all my dreams are down

Lazing, living, lying in this lull

I spent all morning falling deeper

Into sleep deprived

Of any urge to leave the bed

On which I rest my weary head

So tired with no reason

So listless and so lost

The cost of an unhealthy diet

And a lack of exercise

And when I rise

I rise merely temporarily

To smoke and watch some video

Which tells me something I already know

And I get to feel right

A feeling I feel nearly constantly

Seriously? Honestly?

It's the comfort in my laze but

All my moods are bottled

And all my dreams are down

Lazing, living, lying in this lull

All my considerations

Are trivial at best

I guess everything's already been

Said

Here lies the writer

With no epitaph or gravestone

Just a wooden fucking coffin

And a note

There's something sketched

Onto a worn-out piece of paper

Shoved into his stylish sheepskin coat

I read timidly

I asked it to be poignant

I cheer it from the sidelines

To be beautiful and great

But nothing struck me

Other than disappointment

I truly hope that death is worth the wait