Cheerleader

If I could live my life in rewind

There's a couple of changes I'd make this time

Cause if I knew what was good for me

I'd have been practicing splits from the age of three

Oh, I got a masters, I got a car, I volunteer

and I can play the guitar

But I'd trade it all in the bat of an eye

For a polyester skirt ridin' up my thigh

Oh, life must be great like a permanent date

When you're a cheerleader

Oh, The fun doesn't end and your hair is your friend

When you're a cheerleader

Cheerleaders drive Camaros

Cheerleaders don't date geeks

And everybody thinks it's really cute the way she has to

S-P-L-L everything she speaks.

All the guys want to date her all the girls want to be her

Next time round, I want to be a cheerleader

Cheerleading's a sport now that's what they're callin' for

Though it's the only sport I know that you put your makeup on for

Some women say that it harms and demeans

Can you guess who didn't make their high school teams?

Hey! Cheerleading teaches you valuable poise

You then can apply to the career of your choice like

Serving up burgers and fries with a smile

Or spraying perfume in the cosmetics aisle

Oh, a cheerleader might not have her GED

But she's pursuing one

Oh, a cheerleader might never be a CEO

But she'll be dating one

You get to ditch all your old loser friends

The moment that you make the squad

With the high school crest stretched across your chest

You're one step down from GOD

Oh, all the guys want to date her all the girls want to be her

Next time round, I want to be a cheerleader

Last night I had a dream I was back in high school and they just hung up the final cuts of the varsity cheerleading squad. It was utter mayhem. Girls were wailing and nashing their teeth realizing that their social lives were completely over. Well, I managed to make my way through the moldering carnage until I found myself face to face with . . .

THE LIST

Gennifer

Jessyca

Tiffani

Stefanii

Brittani

Brytany

Britannee

Deirdre

Deirdre?!? Why That's ME! I made the team!! Oh my gosh! I never want to wake up from this wonderful dream!

Oh, life must be cool I mean you totally rule as a cheerleader

All the dweebs stop in all when you strut down the hall

As a cheerleader

Cheerleaders don't' wear glasses, cheerleaders don't get zits.

And all the girls would die to have their little tiny thighs

And their really, really, really big

Makeup kits

All the guys want to date her. . .(well, a couple want to be her)

Next time round I want to be a cheerleader.

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