Drunken Rent Collector

Nou a ken that young fowk like tae hear a new sang

Sae a'll sing ye this ane, it's no very lang

O an auld rent collector the truth a will tell

Whae thocht that ae nicht he wis gaun doun tae hell

Ae nicht this rentman had collected his load

An his pouches were stuffed fu o siller an gowd

Then intae an alehous refreshin hissel

Th'auld rentman got bleezin the truth for tae tell

He got sae blin drunk that he fell tae the grun

An like a fat sow he wis wallowin aroun

Juist nigh tae a coal pit this rentman did lie

Whan fower or five colliers chanst tae pass by

Thae shouthert him up like a peddlar's pack

An wiout delay flung him ower thair back

Then intae the bucket thae handit him doun

The drunk rent collector thae took undergrun

The rentman woke up in a terrible fear

Then up jumps a collier, says, "whit brocht ye here?"

An thinkin the collier wis auld nick hissel

The rentman, he cries out, "ma goad, a'm in hell!"

Says the collier, "whit wis ye in the warl up above?"

"sir, a wis the rentman that naebody luves

Bit indeed, mister deivil, the truth a will tell

A'll be whit ye want me tae be here in hell"

"och, sin ye're a rentman, that ye maun remain

An ye'll never get out o this dark place again

For the gates thae are shut an thae'll haud ye secure

Tae pay for yer evils in robbin the puir"

"o, please mister deivil, tak pity oan me

An a'll mak ye a bargain as true as ye'll see

A never will rob ony puir fowk again

If ye'll juist set me free fae these infernal chains"

"gie me aa the money that ye haud in store

An ye can return tae yer ain native shore"

"ye can tak every penny!" the auld rentman roared

An he gied tae the collier his siller an gowd

Whan back tae the surface the rentman wis taen

He wis aff like a shot an wis neer seen again

An the money the miners had taen wi thair game

Thae went roun aa the houses an gied back again

Sae here's tae the colliers that wark undergrun

Thae're the cleverest men that can ever be fun

An here's tae the rentman that aye cudnae tell

The difference atween a deep coal mine an hell