Bone Doctor

I awoke one evening in total pain

My back was aching

Driving me insane

But no pulsating pain would steal my sleep

So I leaped from bed to grab the aspirin jar

But the pain in my back said

I won't get far

Lying on the floor I saw a glimmer of light

I grabbed the phone book and to my surprise

An intriguing ad had caught my eye

1-800-MR-BONES

So I rolled to the left and grabbed the phone

And made the call to Mr. Bones

He said: I'm here to help you

And: I'm glad you called

Laying on the floor almost paralyzed

He opened the door

And caught me by surprise

He was ten foot skeleton

With glowing eyes

He grabbed my foot and threw me to the wall

He grabbed my arms and dragged me down the hall

Twisting and tying me in a knot

He finally had me rolled up in a ball

Upside-down with my back to the wall.

Then I saw him coming with a flying kick

A second later I heard a crack

And pain was gone in my lower back

With needed sigh I melted to the floor

With great relief I asked him for the bill

He said

Your money won't do

But your Les Paul will

Oh, and by the way

They call me Bones