Packet Man

Excuse me trooper, will you be needing any packets

today? Yo, B, don't be throwin' on my jacket, ok?

Cool, just trying to get your attention

So you can take a look at this invention

Now peep these, I got some more in my jacket

[Man, what are these, condoms?] Uh uh: sex packets

It's like a pill, you can either chew it up

Or like an alka-seltzer, dissolve it in a cup

And get this: see the girl on the cover?

You black out, and she becomes your lover

[You're trippin] no, I'm serious, these are authentic

[Yeah, well I don't take hallucenogenics]

Wrong again, my man, this is way more real

But since you know everything, I'll make someone else a deal

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

[Well now you got me curious, I'm kind thinkin bout buyin it]

Three for ten dollars, it can't hurt to try it

[Well what exactly do I get?]

Well read what it says, look at the picture [Bet

It says Chinese girl, age 17, waist 24, hips 33,

Hmmm, this one here says young black virgin

Man this is crazy, I'm gonna have to splure an

get me a few of these things. How long do they last?]

Well it depends, let's see

These cheap ones here are ten minutes

But these are extra power, they last about a half an hour

And these here sell for bout 40

'Cause you get two girls [Yeah it says orgy]

Right, and if you're married, it's no big deal

You're not cheating at all, you're just poppin a pill

And if your wife's got a headache and wants to hit the sack

It's cool, take a packet fool

Biochemically compacted sexual affection

Now here, take a look at my selection

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

[OK, I want these two boxes of three

And give my blondy here, and that one that says orgy

And, by the way, I need something for my woman]

Sure, I got guy packets [Cool, give me some of em]

Now let me tell you how to take it:

Either sit of lie down, and you really should be naked

Otherwise you're gonna mess up your clothes, know what I mean?

This is more then just a dream

It's very realistic and it's gonna blow your mind

So be careful: only take one at a time

And never take one behind the wheel

You'll black out and hit a pole [Cool, let's make the deal]

These are 40, these are 80, and this one here is 10

Just give me a hundred dollars, I'll call it even

But don't pull your money out yet, see

There's one or two narcs in this area that sweat me

Over here, [Yeah, this looks kinda cool

20, 40, 60, 80 a hundred, shmoove]

Here's my number, in case you need to reach me again

And remember, you need to be as safe as you can

There's only one thing safer then using your hand

Dial that beeper number, and call the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man