The Last Excuse

If there is a hell

It filters through its neverending shades of green

And when it turns on those rains

it mutes it all to grey

If there is a hell

Its only life support is an idle screen

But to unplug is to spill a restless world at unset knees

If there is a hell

It always stares back through the same new cracks

And its every face seems worn and stale and overplayed

If there is a hell

It rings through wires and into my head

It asks me where and how and why I just don't try

But how can I explain

When all I've been is blinded

These words do talk

These heads do turn

But yet it's probably worthless

I'm not the one

I didn't want this

And whether it's chemical, emotional, physical

It doesn't mean shit

If there is a hell

There must be a heaven

And if just once

It shined right through

Perhaps I'd try

But it's only there

So the mind can fake it

And it seems that

All its innocence

Has all but drowned

And sometimes it calls

Through the submerged distance

And as its glimmers

Fade to black

The depths seem undone

But the only way to dive

Is through their engines

And while they always take the plunge

I've learned to stand aside

And leave them to collide

Since

I'm not the one

I didn't want this

And there is a hell

I had it all made