A Lil' Ole Bitty Pissant Country Place

It's just a little bitty pissant country place

Ain't nothin' much to see

No drinking allowed, we get a nice quiet crowd, plain as it can be

It's just a piddly squatin' old time country place

Ain't nothing to hide at all

Just lots of good will and maybe one small thrill

But there's nothing dirty going on

Nothing dirty going on

We get simple farmers, local business men

Congress folks from Austin, young boys looking for sin

Now we used to get a lot of rough necks, when the oil boom was high

But pay day would get a little rowdy, thank God the field ran dry

Chorus:

It's just a little bitty pissant country place, nothing much to see

No drinking allowed, we get a nice quiet crowd, plain as it can be

It's just a piddly squatin no time country place, nothing to hide at all

Just lots of good will, and maybe one small thrill, but there's nothing dirty going on

I don't hire no married girl, they're not on the ball

They got homes and husbands, they're not stable at all

You know they don't understand a thing about a proper business day

Now what's the point in opening up the store if you give the goods away

Repeat Chorus

Keep your language clean girls, keep your bedrooms neat

And don't hang around the town cafe and say hi on the street

Mind you P's and Q's and manners, and you don't need no other tools

Cause every girl that lives here knows my special no-no rules

Yea every girl that lives here knows Miss Mona's no-no rules

Ruby, Ray start em!

Beds are not to be wallowed in

That's the kind of thing that big fat lazy hogs do

And it don't make money!

Betrix!

I won't tolerate no tying my telephone with other peoples business

Eloise honey!

And please don't show us no tattoos

No hearts and flowers on your thigh

It's downright tacky

Brands for the cattle and that ain't what we're selling at Miss Mona's

Do you catch my drift?

I pay the food and the rent and the utilities

You keep your mind on your work responsibilities

Don't let your mouth overload your capabilities

And we can get along

Dawn!

Any bad habits you come in with, get rid off right now

Tatty Joe!

I can't stand no chewing gum it looks just like a cow

Lindy Lue!

Any one taking sick leave for to make real sure their sick

And every time you hear that bell...

You better get here double quick

And as for pimps

Pimps are something you don't need

To get your daily business done

Are you listening good?

Keep them leaches and blood suckers of the bathrobes

And I know how to use a gun

And nobody messes with my girls

And any questions you might have about the way I run this place

Don't grip and whine behind my back

Just tell me face to face, I'm open-minded, say it all

Then go upstairs and pack, the door's that way

She pays the food and the rent and the utilities

We keep our mind on our work responsibilities

Don't let your mouth overload your capabilities

And we can get along

Repeat Chorus

It's just a little bitty pissant country place, nothing much to see

No drinking allowed, we get a nice quiet crowd, plain as it can be

It's just a piddly squatin no time country place, nothing to hide at all

Just lots of good will and maybe one small thrill

Just lots of good will and maybe one small thrill

Just lots of good will and maybe one small thrill

But there's nothing dirty going on

Nothing dirty going on