Go To Church

We should all go back to church cos they've hit the market place.

They're getting fashionable ideas from back issues of "The Face".

They've bought part shares in the pill, porn videos,

And guns, GUNS, GUNS!

I LIKE IT!

Old concepts are boring the designer mass is fun.

They've changed the local parishes into saunas, gyms and spas.

The Eucharist and the Convenant is now a mini-bar.

They've bought a New York decorator to turn cherubs into fairies,

The body and the blood to caviar and Bloody Marys.

While the font is a Jacuzzi and holy water's Perrier.

Cos the Vatican has found a way to make religion pay.

If you've soiled your conviction, sold your soul,

All you need is absolution, get some good Rock n Roll.

Let my people go, go, go to church - listen to the preacher.

Go to church - he'll teach you more than Fredrick Neitzsche.

Go to church - where you can let your hair hang down, down, down.

No need to be embarrassed cause there's no-one else around.

The parish priests are trying to make lay-people of your daughters,

Installing water beds as their sacrificial altars.

Parents are concerned but nothing could be safer,

Cos your girl won't get pregnant if she's chewing on the wafer.

And while I'm on the topic did I forget to mention?

The Brother Joe rides piggyback with dubious intentions.

And Amy Grant's has songs that have you coming in your socks,

While pre pubescent school boys try to pillage her poor-box.

The flying nun with see through frocks and sexy lingerie,

Now they've turned the sacred sacrament into a cabaret.

Let my people go, go, go to church - that's what my mother used to say

Go to church - or you will rue the day

Go to church - where you can see all the pretty people.

If you've never been before it's the building with the steeple.

The mass was best in Latin, they never should have banned it,

It doesn't make sense now that we can understand it.

Socer uno servo fetum, Lefevre's not a faggot.

But if he don't take care he'll get laid, he'll get laid,

He'll get laid off like Jimmy Swaggert.

Admission is free if you're certain of your fate,

If not I recommend some big cash on the plate,

Or get a damn good lawyer to change the ref's decision,

Cos I'm stuck with going to church like I'm stuck with circumcision.

Let my people go, go, go to church - cause you might find favor.

Go to church - throw your arms to the savior.

Go to church - it's getting warm and I can hear that final bell,

You'd better move your feet there's no fire escape in Hell.

Come on all you sexually impotent, drunken, drug-pushing

scumbags... Go to church!