Kylie & Jason

I won a big prize in a magazine

A night in Ramsay Street with what's-his-name and Charlene

I sat there eagerly with my private invitation

My thoughts were filled with bizarre initiations

This couple oh-so-sweet, naive and innocent

Their ideas of fornication makes Lady Di look bent

Thought they'd be hip to smack, maybe enjoy a whack

But they were real nice kids so I tried a different tack

I pumped up their hearts with love and mind expanding drugs

And made a proposition with a rubber glove

I thought they'd need convincing

Then Kylie started mincing

And Jason was expanding

When I said I'd ride 'em tandem.

Jason and Kylie menage a trois me

Let's get together and we'll practice making babies

Jason can play Ken, Kylie plays Barbie

And when I start playing Rin Tin Tin

They'll both learn how to doggie. (Ruff ruff ruff! )

And they called it puppy love

I'll be Mrs Mangle with a revolutionary French blender

Kylie can be the Bastille and then Jason can defend her

And poor old Daphne in a car crash died

Now maggots eat her corpse from the inside

They're just as good in bed as on the TV screen

Young intellectuals will know what I mean

Kylie and Jason, let's play Freemasons

I'll chase you 'round the house while you wear silly aprons

I'll be the wife who doesn't understand

It's not the clothes that make the man it's the handshake

1-2, 1-2-3, 1-2-3-4, hey, hey!

Jason and Kylie, et tu brute

They're just like free range eggs, they're a damn good lay

We made real fine threesome, each one of us inside us

And when you root like that, nothing can divide us!

1-2, 1-2-3, Jason and Kylie for me!