Sailors Arms

I met her at the 'Sailor Arms'

A bar down by the docks

Full of prostitutes and deviants

And fellows wearing frocks

Went there to drown my sorrow

My misery and paaaiiiiaaaiiiiaan

With fourteen multicoloured pills

And a pint of heavy ale

(heavy ale)

And I saw this girl across the way

Who was smiling through the wine

So I begged her come on over

Come on over, spend some time

And I spilled my life before her

And she seemed to understand

Although she was a girl

We were talking man to man

(man to man)

[Chorus]

For love is where you find it

Wherever that may be

For me it was in the Sailors Arms

At twenty-five past three

There's something strange about her

I can't put my finger on

But I wanna tell the world

That she's the one

(she's the one)

I wanna tell the world

That she's the one

She strolled up to the toilets

She strolled into the Gents

I asked her why she did it

Why she'd gone to pay the rent

We arm-wrestled and I lost

She beat me with a spike

Told me filthy jokes

That were quite unlady-like

(lady-like)

It was four in the morning

And through the smokey haze

I could've been mistaken

But she needed to shave

(to shave)

[Chorus]

For love is where you find it

Wherever that may be

For me it was in the Sailors Arms

With a better man than me

Her husky voice seduced me

My heart was in a mess

I sat upon her knee

As something twitched beneath her dress

There's something more than knees beneath her dress

You've got nice eyes says I

(Oh Sir, I am suprised)

What large hands I said

(All the better to touch you with)

God, you arms look strong

(A woman's work is never done)

Your legs are quite hirsuite

(Aren't you the saucy one!)

I was feeling less than stable

When she said her name was Ken

(Ken!)

Well if I had suspicions

Lord I should've had 'em then

(then!)

She cried as she told me

How she was so confused

One more visit to the doctor

She'd have nothing left to lose

(Toulouse-Lautrec)

I ran my fingers through her wig

She lightly stroked my hair

She said she was a man

(Whoa whoa! She said she was a man?

A man called Ken - Bull-twang!)

Lots of men are called Ken.

(So what did you say?)

I told her I don't care

(He doesn't care)

[Chorus]

For love is where you find it

Wherever that may be

For me it was in a hopper bin

With my trousers 'round my knees

There's something strange about her

I just put my finger on

And I want to tell the world

That she's the one

(he's the one)

I want to tell the world

That its the one.