Guilty Conscience

{sound of static}

[announcer]

Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.

Fed up with life and the way things are going,

he decides to rob a liquor store.

("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")

But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.

And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...

("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")

[Dr. Dre]

Alright, stop! (Huh?)

Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store

and try to get money out the drawer

You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)

I'm your motherfuckin conscience

[Eminem]

That's nonsense!

Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs

And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs

Tell her you need a place to stay

You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razorblade

[Dr. Dre]

Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to

The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you

Think about it before you walk in the door first

Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns

[Eminem]

Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!

Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?

Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?

Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?

[Dr. Dre]

Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You'reright!)

Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)

Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you

(You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..)

{sound of static}

("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute")

("Mmm, I don't know!")

("Look baby..")

("Damn!")

("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?")

("Well OK..")

[announcer]

Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!")

After meeting a young girl at a rave party,

things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.

Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!")

[Eminem]

Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek

and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink

Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..

(Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old

You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair)

Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!)

Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare

Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there

(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?)

No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!

(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)

Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..

{sound of static}

{pickup idling, radio playing}

[announcer]

Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.

After coming home from a hard day's work,

he walks in the door of his trailer park home

to find his wife in bed with another man.

("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!")

("Grady!!")

[Dr. Dre]

Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..

[Eminem]

Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin

While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?!

FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!

[Dr. Dre]

Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?

(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!)

Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady

But think about the baby before you get all crazy

[Eminem]

Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?

Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?

That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard

You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!

[Dr. Dre]

What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?)

I'ma kill you motherfucker!

[Eminem]

Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!

Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?

Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way?

How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?

[Dr. Dre]

Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went

Been there, done that.. aw fuck it...

What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?

{gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired}