Shores Of California

He's been trying with limited success

To get this girl to let him get into her pants

But every time he thinks he's getting close

She threatens death before he gets a chance

That's the way it is in Minnesota

And that's the way it is in Oklahoma

That's the way it's been since protozoa

First crawled on the shores of California

And she's been trying with limited success

To get him to turn off the lights and dance

Cause like any girl all she really wants

Is that fickle little bitch romance

That fickle little bitch romance

And that is why a girl is called a tease

And that is why a guy is called a sleaze

And that's why god made escort agencies

One life to live and mace and ghb

That's the way it is in Minnesota

And that's the way it is in Oklahoma homa

That's the way since the animal and noah

First climbed onto shores of California

Must not be too kind

Stop thinking love is blind

Clench your fists yeah write

She's just not my type…

Why all these conflicting specifications

Maybe to prevent overpopulation

All i know is that all around the nation

The girls are cryin' and the boys are masturbatin'

That's the way it is in Minnesota

And that's the way it is in Oklahoma homa

That's the way Aristophanes and homer

Wrote the Iliad and lysistrata

That's the way it is in Minnesota

And that's the way it is in Oklahoma homa

That's the way since the animal and protozoa

First climbed on the shores of California