Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Drive By Truckers
Canonical path: /drive-by-truckers/the-president-s-penis-is-missing
Related lyric paths: 6
Video embedded: yes
Lyric guide
The President's Penis is Missing
Read The President's Penis is Missing lyrics by Drive By Truckers on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
person
Curated by Ethan Walker
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Lyrics
The President's Penis is Missing
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(scene: the press corps have descended upon the white house, a spokesperson
Begins to speak:)
"they looked in the white house and capitol hill
They looked everywhere for buffalo bill
We called every scholar, reporter, and genius
Has anyone seen the president's penis?"
"it ain't in the congress or judiciary
It ain't in the smithsonian or that big ole library
An astronomer claims it was sighted on venus
Has anyone seen the president's penis?"
(now the entire press corp. erupts in song:)
"the president's penis is missing ole'!!!
We searched high and low, every night everyday
Lord, won't you come down and redeem us
Has anyone seen the president's penis?"
(at this point, legendary news man walter cronkite returns from the moon to
Add his commentary:)
"now presidents have goofed up in all kinds of ways
In the 80's we elected one missing his brain
George washington caught a cold he couldn't explain
And we all know the truth about thomas jefferson's name"
(suddenly william randolph hurst rises from the grave and bellows out in an
Orson welles type voice:)
"franklin d. roosevelt wasn't no square
With that raging woodrow in his wheelchair
And all the lesbians snickered that elenor didn't care
And john kennedy's penis was seen everywhere"
(once again everyone breaks out in gleeful song:)
"the president's penis is missing ole'!!!
We searched high and low every night every day
Lord won't you come down and redeem us
Has anyone seen the president's penis?"
(the scene shifts to sen. john glenn, wandering pensively, somewhere in space:)
"them outer space people would laugh if they'd seen us
All this talk about cum-stains and oral coitus
Meanwhile the whole world suffers from hunger and meanness
But we're more concerned with the president's penis"
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Who performs "The President's Penis is Missing"?
Drive By Truckers performs "The President's Penis is Missing", and this lyric page sits inside the Drive By Truckers catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "The President's Penis is Missing"?
Yes. The related section below points to Gravity's Gone and Made Up English Oceans with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Drive By Truckers?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Drive By Truckers's lyric pages.
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