When Days Return

cancerfilled trains creep through my day

in my concrete sick eyes colours can't stay

i stand in the chalk outlines of my entity

for me all is lost now, mirth is just vanity

all is wrong in this grey ruins

i am nothing, grief is reaching

walking through all this is distorting my sight

to see what happens will darken my past

remembering my failures will suppress my smile

as gaiety can't show on an embittered face

destroying my hands on adamant ground

as screeching fills my eyes with fluttering glint

this cannot be, you can't be lost, he is not right,

i can't be so weak, all is so wrong, i hate to despair

i am unable to bear it longer

i must leave this all behind

i throw my face into the corner of my room

my jowls become warm, my sight gets dim

blood coats my eyes and seeps into the wall

as the final ache turns into white dazzling light