Everybody's Girl

Kitty calls me on the phone

To say she's all alone

And needs somebody's there

Crystal sees into the future

Tells me that she's an asshole

Should have, but who really cares

I sit here and wonder if we are sharing a different world

And all these making emotions whirling around me swirl

I'm in love with everybody's girl

Look at Brenda there with Luke

She's giving him the boot

Ah, but Kelly's standing by

Aw, and here comes my man Tom

Ask her: Do you wanna?

But I never even try

I sit here and wonder if we are sharing a different world

And all these deviant motions making the channels twirl

And I'm in love with everybody's girl

I'm spending Cinco de Mayo with my Maria

Celebrating her independence with little Emily

And should the new year should find you without Jenny

There she'll be

You'll find her under my tree

Wrapped up and waiting for me

If you call me on the phone

Don't ever weep and moan

You always find me there

And if you see into the future

Be so kind as

Not to tell me what you find out there

We'll lie in bed watching re-runs of another world

Just like a drunk, better be no stuck on a tilt-a-whirl

And I'm in love with everybody's

I'm in love with everybody's

I'm in love

(Ew, you're creepy)

With everybody's girl