Stan

Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'

I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom

I sent two letters back in autumn You must not have got them

There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'

Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em

But anyways, f it, what's been up man, how's your daughter?

My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father

If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her? I'ma

name her Bonnie.

I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry

I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him.

I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan.

I even got the underground stuff that you did with Scam.

I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man.

I like the stuff you did with Ruckus too, that shit was phat.

Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat

Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan.

My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin why i got out of bed at all.

the morning rain clouds up my window and i can't see at all.

And even if i could it'd all be grey with your picture on my wall.

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote,

I hope you have the chance.

I ain't mad, I just think it's messed up you don't answer fans.

If you didn't want to talk to me outside the concert

you didn't have to,

but you could have signed an autograph for Matthew.

That's my little brother, man. He's only 6 years old.

We waited in the blistering cold for you for 4 hours

and you just said no.

That's pretty crummy man, you're like his favourite idol

He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do.

I ain't that mad, though I just don't like bein' lied to.

Remember when we met in Denver? You said if I write you

You would write back. See, I'm just like you in a way.

I never knew my father neither,

He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her.

I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs.

So when I have a crummy day, I drift away and put 'em on.

Cause I don't really got shit else, so that shit helps

when I'm depressed.

I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest.

Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds.

It's like adrenaline. The Pain is such a sudden rush for me.

See, everything you say is real, and I respect you

'cause you tell it.

My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7.

But she don't know you like I know you, Slim, no one does.

She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up.

You've gotta call me man. I'll be the biggest fan

you'll ever lose.

Sincerely yours, Stan. PS: We should be together too.

My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin why i got out of bed at all.

the morning rain clouds up my window and i can't see at all.

And even if i could it'd all be grey with your picture on my wall.

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

Dear Mr. I'm too good to call or write my fans

This'll be the last package I ever send your ass.

It's been six months and still no word.

I don't deserve it.

I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect.

So this is my cassette I'm sending you. I hope you hear it.

I'm in the car right now. I'm doing 90 on the freeway. hey slim i drank

a 5th a vodca dare me to drive? you know that song by phil collins in

the air in the night about that guy who could've saved that other guy

from drowning but didn't and phil saw it all and at his show he found

him thats kinda how this is you could've rescued me from drowning

but it's too late i'm on a thousand downers now i'm drowsy and all i

wanted was a lousy letter or a call i hope you know i ripped all your

pictures off the wall I loved you Slim, we could have been together.

Think about it.You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it.

And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it.

I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me.

See Slim, {screaming} shut up bitch, I'm trying to talk

Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk.

But I didn't slit her throat,

I just tied her up, see I ain't like you.

'Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more,

then she'll die too.

Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now.

Oh shoo, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this tape out?

My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin why i got out of bed at all.

the morning rain clouds up my window and i can't see at all.

And even if i could it'd all be grey with your picture on my wall.

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy.

You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?

Look, I'm really flatterd you'd call your daughter that.

And here's an autograph for your brother: I wrote it

on the Starter cap.

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must have missed you.

Don't think I did that shit intentionally, just to diss you.

but what's this stuff you said about you

like to cut your wrists too?

I say that stuff just clownin' dog,

c'mon, how messed up is you?

You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselin'

To help your ass from bouncin' off the

walls when you get down some.

And what's this junk about us meant to be together?

That type of crap'll make me not want us to meet each other.

I really think you and your girlfriend need each other.

Or maybe you just need to treat her better.

I hope you get to read this letter.

I just hope it reaches you in time.

Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'd be doin' just fine

If you'd relax a little. I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan

Why are you so mad? Try to understand that I do want

you as a fan.

I just don't want you to do some crazy bit.

I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago

that made me sick.

Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge

And had his girlfriend in the trunk and she was

pregnant with his kid

And in the car they found a tape but it didn't say who

it was to

Come to think about it...his name was...it was you.

Damn.