She Was No Good

She could be no good, I'm telling you

Gather round boys for a tale that is tragic and true

On the Mississippi riverboat, "Magnolia"

No one onboard was smelling too sweet

That precious one must have been stamping her feet

Dictating demands all well and fine

A few rods west of the Bridgeport line

But the veil was drawn and the halo slipped

Tippling tinctures and reciting scripture

Faces where slapped just as kid gloves were suffered

Vile threats were uttered and challenges offered

On the Cumberland riverboat, "E.W. Stephens"

Daggers were drawn on pistols pulled

Staggering 'til dawn filled up with whiskey and rum

And several drunken players ran amok

Rampaging with the crew around the deck

And I received a blow that was unkind

It turned my cheek to the colour of gentian violet

I wouldn't say that this journey had quite been the highlight

Of the All-American Tour

Teetering on the edge of war

Out of the genteel Northern prosceniums

Filled up with imitation Europeans

Down along the river of rough damnations

By the blood-stained cotton and the slave plantations