Two little Hitler's

Why are we racing to be so old?

I'm up late pacing the floor

I won't be told

You have your reservations

I'm bought and sold

I'll face the music

I'll face the facts

Even when we walk in polka dots and chequer slacks

Bowing and squawking

Running after titbits

Bobbing and squinting

Just like a nitwit

Two little Hitlers will fight it out until

One little Hitler does the other one's will

I will return

I will not burn

Down in the basement

I need my head examined

I need my eyes excited

I'd like to join the party

But I was not invited

You make a member of me

I'll be delighted

I wouldn't cry for lost souls, you might drown

Dirty words for dirty minds

Written in a toilet town

Dial me a Valentine

She's a smooth operator

It's all so calculated

She's got a calculator

She's my soft touch typewriter

And I'm the great dictator

Chorus

A simple game of self-respect

You flick a switch and the world goes off

Nobody jumps as you expect

I would have thought you would have had enough by now

You call selective dating

For some effective mating

I thought I'd let you down, dear

But you were just deflating

I knew right from the start

We'd end up hating

Pictures of the merchandise

Plastered on the wall

We can look so long as we don't have to talk at all

You say you'll never know him

He's an unnatural man

He doesn't want your pleasure

He wants as no one can

He wants to know the names of

All those he's better than

Chorus

I will return

I will not burn

(2x)