Girls! Girls! Girls!

Step right up

We bring to you the finest entertainment

And I'm pleased to be your humble servant

Accept our hospitality, indulge in abnormality

Step right up

We've something here for everyone's enjoyment

I do this as a gift, not for employment

A portrait of insanity, approach with your humanity

Come see our girls, crazy girls

If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride

Those girls, crazy girls

They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal

Tickets cheap, it's a crime

And they're half off after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime

To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time

Come see the girls, girls, girls

Some of them are really quite attractive as you see

Some are truly hideous, I'm sure that you'll agree

While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me

But you mustn't let them fool you, just one more rule

You shouldn't look this one too long in the eye

And that one, let's just keep walking by

These ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supply

So grab another cup of tea, and follow me

To see the girls, crazy girls

If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride

Those girls, crazy girls

They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal

Tickets cheap, it's a crime

And they're half off after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime

To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time

Come see the girls, girls, girls

Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide?

For a penny more, go on and ask, we have nothing here to hide.

Quiet down! You, sir

If insanity's primarily a femininish malady,

And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact,

Then according to the medics, are they faultier genetics?

Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract?

It has all to do with reproductive organs

Which are naturally unstable in a dame

You see from lunar, we have, lunacy and lunatic and loony

And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moony

I have a question

Has any patient ever been released?

Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior would decrease?

For the good of our society, they oughtn't reproduce

So while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose

Come see the girls, crazy girls

If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride

Those girls, crazy girls

They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal

Tickets cheap, it's a crime

And they're half off after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime

To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time

Come see the girls, girls, girls

Some are born mad

Some achieve madness

Some have madness thrust upon them

This is the real thing my friends, guaranteed 100 percent, authentic, mentally-ill

Except no imitations

For a little extra on the side, you can arrange

For a slightly more intimate encounter, wink wink

For a tuppence, just a tuppence, a handful of pills to feed the inmates

We've got pills for depression, obsession, agression, possession, indiscretion,

There's a bloody pill for everything nowadays!

How big is a lady's brain?

It's really very, very small, a simple thought is quite a strain

This seems just a bit inhumane

It's just a simple little shock, it doesn't cause her any pain

You see, they're really more like animals than people

Which haven't proven having any souls at all.

The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posterior

And these are only useful in a seedy music hall

They don't bite, well they might

I say this one does look hungry tonight

So get your picture with an inmate

But be sure she's locked up tight

They're practically wild sir

Protect your child sir

They can't recall the taste of freedom

They're just happy if we feed them

So point and laugh, it isn't bad

They oughtn't mind because they're mad!

If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearls

You're welcome to enjoy

Our girls, crazy girls

If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride

Those girls, crazy girls

They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal

Tickets cheap, it's a crime

And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime

To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time

I've got a lot more words to say, but I just can't make them rhyme

So ladies, let this be a lesson to you, keep your hair uncut

Your corsets tight, your morals high

Your knitting neat, your yappers shut

This is what comes of over-educating,

Mentally over-stimulating,

Too much serious conversating,

Organized religion-hating,

Sinful over-copulating,

Marriage without pro-creating,

Girl-on-girl caught lesbiating,

She was caught while masturbating,

They all mind manipulating,

Chronically hallucinating,

Certainly there's no debating,

Some we just find fascinating,

Women's rights facilitating,

Independent thought creating,

She just may be complicating,

Get your money out we're waiting

To see those

Girls!

Girls!

Girls!