The Kids

And everyone should get along

Ok children quiet down, quiet down

Children I'd like to introduce your new substitute teacher forthe day

His name is mr. Shady

Children quite down please

Brian don't throw that (shut up!)

Mr. Shady will be your new substitute while mr. Kaniff is outwith pnumonia

(He's got AIDS!) good luck Mr. Shady

Hi there little boys and girls

(Fuck you!) today we're going to learn how to poison squirrels

But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (huh?)

Say hi bob, (hi Bob) Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom

And he don't got a job cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot

But his 12 year old brother looks up to him awful lot

And bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot

And wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock

When it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks hisdog

He drag 'em in the woods and goes straight to the choppinblock

And even if they escape and got the cops

The ladies would be so afraid, they would drop the charge

Till one night mrs. Stacey went off the job

When she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk

But stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off

But bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off hisrocker

Crazier than Slim Shady is off the locker

You couldn't even take him to dre's to get bob a doctor

He grabbed Stace by the leg, he chopped it off her

And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her

But ever since the day Stacey went off the wander

They never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner

And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana

And what it might do to you

So see if the squirrels want it, cause it's bad for you

See children, drugs are bad

And if you don't believe me, ask ya dad

And if you don't believe him, ask ya mom

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time

So kids say no to drugs

So you don't act like everyone else does

And there's really nothing else to say

Drugs are just bad mmm k

My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?

Fuck no you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (huh?)

Speaking of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?

Extacy is the worst drug in the world

If someone offers it to you, don't do it

Kids, two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid

And spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back

So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in ya back

Meet Zack, 21 years old

After hanging around with some friends at a frat party he getsbold

And decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys

And peer pressure will win everytime you try to fight it

Suddenly, he starts to convulse

And his pulse goes into hyperdrive, and his eyes go back in hisskull

His back starts ta look like the mcdonald's arches

He's on Donald's carpet, laying horizontal barfin'

And everyone in the apartment starts laughin' at him

Hey Adam, Zack is a jackass, look at him

So they took it to, so they think it's funny

So their laughin' at basically nothing

Except maybe wastin' their money

Meanwhile, zack's in a coma, the action is over

And his back and his shoulders, hunched up like he was practicin'yoga

And that's the story of zack, the extacy maniac

So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad foryou

See children, drugs are bad

And if you don't believe me, ask ya dad

And if you don't believe him, ask ya mom

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time

So kids say no to drugs

So you don't act like everyone else does

And there's really nothing else to say

Drugs are just bad mmm k

Last but not least

One of the most humungous problems among young people today

Is fungus

It grows from cow manure

They pick it out, wipe it off, bag it up

And you put it right in ya mouth and chew it... Yum yum

Then you start to see some dumb stuff

And everything slows down when you eat some, of... 'em

And sometimes you see things that aren't there

(Like what?) like fat woman in g-strings with orange hair

(Mr. Shady what's a g-string?)

It's worn, claire! Women stick them up their behind, and go outand wear 'em

(Huh?)

And if you swallow too much of the magic mushroom

Whoops, did I say magic mushroom, I meant fungus

Ya tongue gets all swolled up like a cow's tongue

(How come?) cause it comes from a cow's dump (oh)

See drugs are bad, it's a common fact

But your mom and dad know that's all I'm good at

(Ert) but don't be me

Cause if ya grow up and ya go and od

They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee

And get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault

So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't

Cause I'm bad for you

See children, drugs are bad

And if you don't believe me, ask ya dad

And if you don't believe him, ask ya mom

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time

So kids say no to drugs

So you don't act like everyone else does

And there's really nothing else to say

Drugs are just bad mmm k

Come on children, clap along

(Shut up!) sing along children (suck my motherfucking dick!) drugs are just bad

Drugs are just bad (south park is gonna sue me) so don't dodrugs

So there'll be more for me (God damnit! Mushrooms killed kenny)