Damocles

Here's a moment

And another and another and another; another

Guess I'm still here

What to do with this awareness?

I still will to pay the price

And I'm not alone in this, but I'm alone in here

These tired, sunken eyes and labored breath

Just superficial bubbles

Sent gasping from a struggle down so deep

A weight that I can't even see myself

It's just another birthday

I'm still drippin' wet

I trade my mother's ocean

For a nightmare's clammy residue

Sweat on top of sweat

The candles find the details

Daylight never sees inside my room

Hangin' by a thread of my own hair

A single thread of my despair

I stand impaled by it

To this small plot of ground; I fully know

I know it dangles there

This sharpened edge slowly turns; I said I'd wait

I'll wait beneath the karma hangin' overhead

There's a dark-haired, fair-skinned gypsy

Hiding sadness in a half-smile

'Cross the table turning pages; deciphering my fate

She claims I was an old soul

In a body born to find a way to leave

From this world of fading flavor

Grown impatient with illusion

And I indulge myself

Wallow in the safety of her eyes; brown eyes

We both know where this leads

Why give it voice?

Why make her lie?

So I just choose to keep my questions to myself

Gone away; I won't invite myself

Whatever's happening will happen

Why should I hope or fear?

Decayed old corpse; decoy life's harpies

So the boy can slip away and escape

The boy can slip away and escape

If I could read the child a story

Would she tell me one in turn?

So we both might drift away to gentle sleep

She'll wave goodbye to my devils

I'll say "Goodnight, moon"

Till angel fingers slowly, softly lower

These reluctant lids

Hand sinks down, down, down

In a trance-like prophecy; goodnight nobody

On an empty cryptic page; goodnight nobody

And there I am again

Impaled upon this small and empty page

But now I know who this "Nobody" is

And if this child can find me

So well hidden; has it fallen?

Am I already dead and risen?

Safe to walk away

Laugh at what I thought I was; smile at what I pray I am