Abe Lincoln VS Chuck Norris

[Abe Lincoln]

Four score and 65 years in the past

I won the civil war with my beard

Now I'm here to whup your ass

I've read up on your facts

You cure cancer with your tears?

Well, tell me Chuck, how come you never sat down and cried on your career?

You're a washed up has been on TV selling total gyms

And you're gonna lose this battle

Like you lost return of the dragon

I'll rip your chest hairs out

Put em' in my mouth

I'll squash you like I squashed the south

I never told a lie

And I won't start now

You're a horse with a limp

I'll put you down

[Chuck Norris]

This isn't Gettysburg, punk

I'd suggest retreating

For I invented rap music

When my heart started beating

Chuck Norris doesn't battle

He just allows you to lose

My raps will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes booth

[Abe Lincoln]

I've got my face on the side of a mountain

You voted for John McCain

I've got a bucket full of my head and I'm about to make it rain

You block bullets with your beard?

I catch em' with my skull

I'd make fun of walker, Texas ranger but I've never ever seen that show

[Chuck Norris]

I am Chuck fucking Norris!

I've spread more blood and gore

Than forty score of your puny civil wars, bitch

I split the union with a roundhouse kick

I wear a black belt on the beard that I grow on my dick

I attack sharks when I smell them bleed

I don't go swimming

Water just wants to be around me

My fists make the speed of light

Wish that it was faster

You may have freed the slaves

But Chuck is everyone's master