Before She Does

I believe that gas is too damn high;

An' there ain't nothin' more American than Momma's apple-pie.

I believe in love; I believe in peace,

But I don't believe we'll ever see it in that Middle-East.

I believe the Bible is cold, hard fact.

An' I believe that Jesus is comin' back before she does.

I believe the Sabbath is a day of rest;

The taxman an' the devil share the same address.

I believe: "Don't start." You're gonna quit.

I believe in "keep your mouth shut" an' "carry a big stick".

I believe that dogs are better than cats,

An' I believe that Jesus is comin' back before she does.

There absolutely, positively,

No doubt in my mind,

That OJ did it; Lee Harvey didn't,

An' she's real gone this time.

I believe that cold, cold beer,

Tastes better on a bar-stool than it does anywhere.

I believe hard work really makes the man.

But everyone should win a line every now an' then.

I believe it's best to pay in cash.

An' I believe that Jesus is comin' back before she does.

There absolutely, positively,

No doubt in my mind,

That OJ did it; Lee Harvey didn't,

An' she's real gone this time.

I believe she was a real good thing:

Can you believe I let a girl like her get away?

I believe she meant it the night she packed,

An' said Jesus is comin' back before she does.

Before she does.

Before she does.