Discomfort

I don't like to be watched nor spoken of

Sometimes I only wish to be a shadow

To pass undisturbed through days of existence

Putting you all through the same filter of thoughts

Weighting the reasons why you seem so happy

Calculating how I could break your world

Fucking tired of smelling your flesh

Fucking tired of hearing your futile stories

If you could all just fucking die

Or at least stop existing

All the shapes around me, been there for too long

Don't talk to me, don't speak of me, just forget that you saw me

I only wish to be happy for once

I feel so fucking bad inside

There's always a dead word rotting in my mouth

Something that makes me wants to puke or aggress

I'm living in a stolen life

Interacting like a mechanical caricature of myself

Not able to love myself in any ways

Not able to lift this fucking layer of uneasiness

I'm sick, and it doesn't seem to bother me anymore

So used to boringness and suicided hopes

That sometimes I take pleasure in degrading myself

Fucked up being in a fucked up world

I'm crying tears that has been borrowed

Inventing pieces of life to keep some sanity

Feeding on negativity

What the fuck am I?

There's always a sign, telling me to shipwreck

I'm haunted on a daily basis by succession of notes and visions

Depraving my present life at the price of artistic abstraction

Focusing on the elevation of the I towards nothing

Letting morality pour away

Reconstructing light with shards of stained darkness

Attracted by everything deviant and out of reach

I'm pouring through life as if nothing is worthy of my attention

What good will it make, those words, this music

Nothing

I'm a continuation of the cycle

Being the sum of genetic, potential and environment

I'm not special, surely not important

Just a fucking human not able to free himself

Darkness will only drown the weak

Don't be afraid to plunge head first

If you have second thoughts, keep in mind that your life sucks

And don't forget, if you're still alive, you're a fag