You Only Want Me 'Cause You Want My Sister

You pulled up at the house at half past seven

In your '69 Impala, shook hands with my father

And we stopped off at the drug store by the drive-in

For some Trojans and a six-pack

Still your eyes kept wandering back to her

It's always her

So let's get one thing straightened out here, sir

If you think you're seeing double

Let me save you some trouble

This ain't no two-for-one bargain here, mister

'Cause I'm much more than just twice shy

I've had enough two-timing guys

Who only want me 'cause they want my sister

My eyes are just as blue as hers, my hair is just as fine

And the tattoo on her lower back's exactly just like mine

But if you look beneath the surface

We're as different as can be

'Cause there's just one heart that beats for you

And that heart belongs to me

And not to her, it's always her

So let's get one thing straight if I'm your girl

And if tomorrow you should die

My sister would not bat an eye

She doesn't even know your name

She's going with some other guy

As long as she is still around

I'll always have a trace of doubt

I need to know your love is real, but how?

We're all dressed up, the flowers sure are pretty

Mother pays her last respects

I look around, no one suspects

That it was me who put the Drano in her coffee

And now that she is underground

I'll know that you're not hanging 'round

For her, no, not for her

And now I'll know your love is true for sure

It pains my heart to think of her

A rotting, stinking, maggot-infested

Bloated, and pus-oozing corpse beneath the earth

You can't imagine just how much I miss her

But now I know you want me, not my sister