Fixed And Dilated

[a) fixed and dilated]

I can taste my own venom

In the back of my throat

I've kept it hidden

As long as i could

The angry child inside me

Baptized in gentility

Was raised on cruelty

In a violent world

The urge to kill still tickles

Like a maggot that wiggles

In the skin of a kitten

And these words that i've written

Won't deaden the nerve

You don't look blind

And yet you wonder why

We are this way

It's as plain as the blood in our veins

I have always turned the other cheek

As though the face i'd strike,

Would be my own

And all the fists that i've denied

Conspire against my gentle side

When mercy leaves i am diseased

A plague of rage come over me

Are we here to pray for each other?

Or are we here to prey on each other?

On each other?

For each other?

[b) bloody and unfocused]

All my anger

And hatred

Once turned inward

Now spun outward

A tornado of shattered glass

Bloody and unfocused

If you think

For one minute

You can overlook me,

You are wrong

Through music,

Through art

Or through violence

I will not be ignored

I would rather empty a clip

Into your brain

And then mine

Than walk away from this

Without satisfaction

Did you hear me?

I would rather kill you

Than walk away from this

Without satisfaction