Bridge St Shuffle

I was found in a white chapel

Playing chess with the Elephant Man

And delivered by a midwife

In the shell of a giant clam

My best friends were a sewer rat

And a city fox

At the age of ten

I developed a yen for

Dismantling clocks

I biked in whistling from the East

Wearing an open mind

Wondering about my future

And the treasures I would find

But some trendy cat from Chelsea

Looked at me in fright

Said I needed elocution

I chewed my tongue all night

So meet me by the old bridge

When the sun is getting low

There's a new gambling game

They call the Lemming Show

I've got two tickets front row seats

For the river side

We can take a picnic

And watch the suicides

Well I pulled up by the kerb

And parked my bicycle

In the snow was a red faced man

Selling icicles

I asked why coals to Newcastle

He said demand and supply

I said I didn't see the point in that

Then he poked me in the eye

Then I came across a theatre queue

Waiting to get in

To see Unemployment Benefit

By a writer with a pseudonym

So I played them a tune

By the light of the moon

And then held out my hat

But all I got was a pile of bills

All Including VAT

So meet me by the old bridge

When the sun is getting low

There's a new gambling game

They call the Lemming Show

I've got two tickets front row seats

For the river side

We can take a picnic

And watch the suicides

So I had a dance with my shadow

But I don't think he was impressed

His legs and arms were twenty foot long

And he was badly dressed

It was then the howling squad car

Pulled up by my side

And two laughing policemen in one coat

Asked me to take a ride

They arrested me for Indocency

As I was dancing a jig

And took me in for chemistry

As a guinea pig

They dragged me into the back room

And injected a disease

But when I showed no symptoms

They offered me some cheese

So meet me by the old bridge

When the sun is getting low

There's a new gambling game

They call the Lemming Show

I've got two tickets front row seats

For the river side

We can take a picnic

And watch the suicides

The doctor said see here boy

We know you're anti-state

But give us some of those anti-bodies

And we'll secure your fate

So I made a deal all signed and sealed

And waited for my pay

While the private eye cured the town

And made a kill that day

I saw Big Doc's rise to fame

On the T. V. in the lounge

And I said to the nurse

That takes the biscuit

Is there some tea that I can scrounge

But she kicked me out on the street

With only two pints of blood

So I played my pipe to my friends the rats

And the city began to flood

So meet me by the old bridge

When the sun is getting low

There's a new gambling game

They call the Lemming Show

I've got two tickets front row seats

For the river side

We can take a picnic

And watch the suicides