Everyone Hates His Parents

Just look at me

I'm a world-class traveler

Each Friday night

Travel travel travel

From her house to his house

First take the 104

With my computer

I am just a little kid

Not a commuter

And each Sunday night

Mother comes to get me

And I hear them fight

Everybody's yelling about the bar mitzvah

It's not a wrestling match

Why are they sweating?

It's not a funeral

What's so upsetting?

It's a celebration

Where I get presents

But everybody's yelling

And everybody's ruining it

It's a celebration

Where I get richer

But everybody's yelling

And everybody's ruining it

Everybody's ruining it

Why, oh, why?

What have I done that they'd ruin my bar mitzvah?

What have we done that we'd ruin your bar mitzvah?

I want the Applebaums

They're lovely, and they like me

They're boring

She just likes the way you dress

Well, who wouldn't?

Have the Applebaums

Screw the Applebaums

Please don't do this!

Saul's a jerk

Have them

Nix them!

Long live the Applebaums!

Arguing takes work

I hate this!

Blame her!

It is all a waste

You're gonna blame me?

You have paintings of dicks!

Don't talk to me about taste

Stop! I don't want a bar mitzvah!

Okay? I don't want a bar mitzvah!

What do you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah?

What do you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah?

How do you think we

How do you think we

How do you think we feel about that?

Jason

I am agitato grande

Jason, I am muy disgutante

And muy disappointe

And muy nauseatus

And me mitzraim

Hotzionoo

Dayenu

Everyone hates his parents

Don't be ashamed

You'll grow up

You'll come through

You'll have kids

And they'll hate you too

Oh, everyone hates his parents

But, I confess

You grow up

You get old

You hate less

But I don't want it

Nothing that gives them pleasure I'll do

I don't want a bar mitzvah

Stupid bar mitzvah

Any bar mitzvah

With you

Everyone hates his parents

That's in the Torah

It's what history shows

In fact, God said to Moses

Moses, everyone hates his parents

That's how it is!

And God knew

Because God hated His

You are gonna kill your mother

Don't feel guilty, kill your mother

Rather than humiliate her

Killing your mother

Is the merciful thing to do

Jason, darling, don't get nervous

I'm right here, and at your service

Look, I'm calm and self-deluded

Grateful, 'cause I hope

You'll do what I pray you'll do

Go ahead and kill your mother

Not with guns, but kill your mother

Rather than humiliate her

Killing your mother

Is the merciful thing to do

Oh my God

(Sung)

Everyone hates his parents

Now, I see why!

But in time

They'll cool out

And you'll think

They were only fooling

It's a strange thing about parents

Push turns to shove

What was hate

Becomes more or less love

Jason, please see a psychiatrist

I'm a psychiatrist

Get lost!

Everyone hates his parents

This too shall pass

You'll grow up

I'll come through

I'll have kids

And they'll hate you too

Oh, Everyone hates his parents

But kid I guess

You'll grow up

I'll grow up

You'll get old

I'll get old

And hate less

Flip me!

You got it!

Whoo!

And hate less